The Book of the LOL

1

I

1
O Hai! Im in ur Nuit.
2
teh kittehs in teh hevunz, let me show yu dem!
3
Evereh kitteh an evereh hoomin iz teh cheezburger.
4
Evereh cheezburger iz awl cheezburgers forevurz.
5
Halp, Warrior Kitteh! So Im nawt invisibul!
6
I had a Hadit, but I eated it.
7
Gud Morningz! Hair-ball-kaff revealz awl.
8
Im in ur Khabs, eatin ur Khu.
9
yu shud liek teh Khabs, den ur PWNED, ai put mai furz ovr yu!
10
Mai hoomins, dey nawt many an dey invisibul, but awl ur base are belong to dem.
11
Stoopid hoomins, dey liek t3h l4mz0rz.
12
yu can haz luvz under teh starz!
13
Im in ur ekstasee, feelin ur joyz.
14
Nuit iz teh seckseh!
She liek Hadit an dey PENIS GOES WHER1?!
Glob wit teh wingz
Bloo wit teh starz
I haz dem!
15
teh Monsta RAWR haz awl teh cheezburgers but teh Red Laydee haz teh can opener. Srsly. Dey will put teh starz in teh n00bz.
16
He haz a liet. She haz a dark.
17
yu no haz anyfing, ur a n00b.
18
LOLSnake iz on ur hed, lol!
19
Blue Laydee, plz halp!
20
Seekrit wurd. He haz it.
21
Iz jus me. Im invisibul. No moar kittehs. Nawt even Ceiling Cat. Jus me. Hadit too he iz BFF.
22
Im Nuit an he can haz seekrit naem wen he stops beein a n00b. Im everyting, yu be everyting too. Iz awl saem. Teh cookeh iz teh cheezburger iz teh peetsa iz teh toona iz teh catnipz, iz awl saem ting.
23
yu so 1337 yu understandz dis?! den yu can haz PWNAGE!!!!!!!1!!!11!!!1
24
Im Nuit an I haz a wurd, count it plz.
25
yu haz a maff test.
26
den he sez: LOLWUT?!?!?! So Byootiful Blue Laydee sez: d00d yu no wut. yu no wen yu relize teh cheezburger iz everyting.
27
den he sed to Byootiful Blue Laydee: yu are teh hole cheezburger alwaiz. Hoomins shud STFU an nawt say anyfing bout yu cuz yu nuffing an everyting anywai.
28
O NOES, nother maff test!
29
ai luvz maff.
30
Dis hau wurld iz maded. Wit maff. Dis wai teh maff test awl teh tiem. Den wen der iz no maff, den yu can haz joy.
31
DO NOT WANT t3h l4mz0rz. dey sux0rz. But yu ai haz.
32
yu shud haz teh ordilz, srsly, k? den yu can haz joyz an luvz. I swerz by teh saykred cheezburger.
33
Den teh prest wuz pwnz0red an he sed: we can haz teh ordilz an teh rich00lz an teh LOL?!?!!!11!?
34
She sed: no ordilz yu cannot haz!!!!11!1 yu can haz sum rich00lz. teh LOL iz for awl!!!!!11!11
35
Dis heer iz teh LOL.
36
Riting Kitteh iz nawt changed teh lawlz, srsly. But akshly if sum1 maded mistayk, den Riting Kitteh cud fix bai teh wizdim of teh I-am-1337.
37
teh meow an teh naps an stuffs, teh fudz an teh can opener, teh wurk of teh shedding an teh skraching, he will show yu dem.
38
He will show yu dem but teh ordilz miet sux0rz.
39
teh wurd of teh LOL iz THULEMMA.
40
THULEMMA iz speshul wurd, k? Haz Furmit, Luv0rz, an Hoomin of Urfs. Eated teh cheezburger iz teh hole of teh LOL.
41
teh wurd of SIN iz NO CAN HAZ. Srsly. Can haz luvz or GTFO. Iz no ting can halp kitteh eated teh cheezburger 'cept can opener. Everyting els iz made of fail. EPIC FAIL!!!!!!!!11!!!1
42
Manyhood iz nawt so gret. yu no can haz anyfing 'cept cheezburger.
43
Haz cheezburger, an no kitteh or hoomin can sai no can haz.
44
Cuz pyur cheezburger, wit no vegtabul, delivurd from teh baff in teh wawter, iz evereh wai purrfect.
no, iz NO purrfect, no wayt, srsly, lolwut?!
46
Dis LOL haz seekrit maff. Kitteh needz kalkulayter nao.
47
Dey haz haff teh cheezburger: need can opener for teh othr haff. Den GTFO so Kitteh can eated teh cheezburger.
48
Mai proffit iz l4mz0rz wit teh wan, wan, wan. Iz it teh m00 an teh invisibul?
49
NO MOAR of teh rich00lz an teh ordilz an teh meowz0rz an stuffs. I-am-1337 iz in teh warm spot bai teh window. Meowsar an Isa, doze Kittehs had der turnz. Dey go wei nao. Of Hair iz teh ball of splendur an iz t3h pwnz0r.
50
Der iz wurd bout hao to use teh can opener. Let me 'splain! Der three ordilz in wan. Gross must go into teh showa. Fine must figur owt teh can opener. Lofty wans can go watch from teh hiest bookshelf. Nao yu haz awl teh starz an sistumz an stuffs.
51
Der for doorz to teh palace. Teh flor in teh palace haz fud on it. Der ballz of string an catnipz an vazez to braek an flowurz to chu. Let kitteh on teh flor in teh palace. Will kitteh nawt sink? Meow! But der meenz an meenz. Eated teh toona; eated teh cookeh! an teh peetsa NOM NOM NOM!!!!11!1 Skrach teh furnichurz an chu on teh wirez an shed lotz furz on teh blak clothingz! But alwaiz for me.
52
If yu fail ur maff test or if ur rich00lz nawt for me den I-am-1337 haz an angree.
53
Dis halp teh wurld. Riting Kitteh, yu still in trubble. But yu haz a happee anywai, for me!
54
Dun change anyfing, srsly. Cuz ur a n00b, yu dunno awl teh seekritz.
55
Baybeh kitteh can haz teh seekritz.
56
Wer baybeh kitteh come from?! Meow! Awl meow saykred, awl kittehs tru; dey jus understandz a littul; jus do haff teh maff test. yu haz hole cheezburger in teh liet, sum cheezburger but nawt awl in teh dark cuz iz too dark to find teh rest of it.
57
Invoke teh kitteh under teh starz! Luvz iz teh LOL, luvz on teh grill. But t3h l4mz0rz maek mistayk wit luvz, cuz der luvz an luvz. teh burd iz NOM NOM but teh snaek iz nawt so gret. Which wan yu haz? Mai proffit haz wan, cuz he knows teh LOL. Awl teh letturs riet 'cept wan, but iz seekrit.
58
ai givz u lotz of happee on urfs! an lotz of naps an stuffs. yu no haz to give me anyfing back.
59
ai haz a smell of teh tree. Cuz mai furz liek teh treez it shed forevurz.
60
Der iz maff an der are shapez an der are colorz. If yu luk yu see rly nice colorz. If yu luvz me yu can haz teh seekrit cookeh.
61
But to luvz me iz epic an full of win. If yu under teh starz in teh wawter an yu invoke teh kitteh wit pure hart, yu can lie in teh sunny spot. yu can haz peetsa an toona an catnipz an everyting kitteh liek, but alwaiz for mai luvz an yu can haz mai joyz! I luvz yu! WANT! Put on teh kitteh wingz so yu can be flying kitteh!
62
Preeztess Kitteh WANT! She meowz to awl so awl teh hartz can haz teh fierz.
63
ai can haz ur meowz! Eated teh cookeh to me! ai luvz yu!
64
Im teh bloo kitteh of teh skiez.
65
Meow! Meow!
66
Nuit sez kthxbai.
    Forgot user name/password