Received several visitors; the Art-Bachelor W.D., the fair damosel J.C.
[1] and the good knight my brother-in-arms Sir Lionel
[2]. Sculptured a sacred Phallus till nigh 2:00. 4:15 a.m. die Venerii a wonderful and repeated dream. I wake up, at last able to get down the truth I have long seen. Aelfrida Tillyard the beloved disciple and one "Clairbelle" (Lady Waloskie) figure in it. "Mental images leave no trace when destroyed". Conservation of matter and energy are not paralleled by thought. (I had kept on reducing symbols to the Lingam and the Yoni and thence destroying them, much to the expressed wonder and alarm of Ae.T.) Of course the L. and Y. are only convenient standards of reduction: the point is that illusions destroyed leave no trace or effect, but merely vanish. As this process becomes general in one's life, it really diminishes one's universe. The bourgeois is subconsciously aware that this must result, and is therefore right in his own way in refusing to destroy even one illusion, and in persecuting those who shatter them. Also there is only one right path; to either side leads not merely off, but to the abyss. I remember in my dream mimicking the bourgeois a-tiptoe marking time, trembling and blind. This idea was also presented in many other ways, intensely vivid, which now I forget. Moreover as I wake myself thoroughly by writing this note, the lens of my intellectual comprehension of the great truth seems to dim, and I find myself fearing in the morning I should find the words obscure. "The destruction of mental images is the only possible annihilation" is my dream-idea. "(Destroyed) mental images leave no trace" is close to, if not quite, the wording. My contrast with matter and energy (set forth above) was a waking rational comment. I remember catching up an old felt hat, and explaining to Ae.T., Saraswati, the beloved disciple, that it was only to be destroyed by first perceiving it as a disguise for the Yoni — I think the dream ran thus. But much I fail to recapture. Let me sleep again, and may the Holy One give again (if it be his will) to his beloved in sleep!
