Liber CLXV

hat he must choose between the continuance of that guidance, and the regular course of training mapped out in the Outer Order of the A∴A∴ He must either resign the grade of Neophyte just conferred upon him, severing his connection with the Outer Order, or cease to work under Frater P.A. altogether. The reasons for this cannot be dealt with fully in this place, nor would they be of the slightest interest to our readers. Suffice it to say that Frater V.I.O. had pledged himself to work on certain lines for six months and that these lines had been laid down by Frater P.A. His duty was then fairly clear, so he practically severed himself from obtaining guidance from either his old Neophyte or his newly appointed Zelator, until that period of work, to which he felt bound by his own oath to himself, was over, and at the end of that time, having worked hard and well, Those who were guiding and directing his life made the way clear for him, and he found himself in a position to accept the instruction of the A∴A∴, coming under the direct guidance of Frater O.M. This event must not be supposed to reflect in any way on Frater P.A. for whom he always felt and will feel great love and respect; the circumstances leading up to this change were outside the sphere of influence of Fra V.I.O. and the more difficult to judge owing to his isolation in Canada. With this brief allusion to the change in his occult affairs, we may pass on to a corresponding change in his material surroundings, for although he continued with his usual office work, he lived during the best part of this year under canvas in a small tent by the sea shore, necessitating some miles of walking every day, and throwing him a good deal more in touch with Nature than formerly; also the addition of a "little stranger" to his family had a marked effect on his home affairs, being as it were the key to the solution of certain problems that had been puzzling him in that direction.

("Volo servare" would do. But a better idea is "I want to help" rather than "serve." —O.M.)

(When you detect slackness, double the exercise, if it kills you. Sure cure! —O.M.)

(Beginning good — end bad. —O.M.)

Results: Breath arose on skin and the "light" arose. Started to concentrate on spine. Towards the end started a sort of automatic chant of apparently senseless words. Have noticed before that when this occur, it leads to a kind of ecstasy. Had to leave off, as was called to tea by Ruby.

(Good, but a virtuous woman is above Rubies, and never calls holy men to tea. —O.M.)

(Good: try something harder. —O.M.)

(Too big a handicap, having anyone in the room. —O.M.)

(This sounds better. —O.M.)

(Yes: too emotional. —O.M.)

(This is bad. You do things well, and work hard; but your point of view is all wrong. I feel a sort of sentimentality injuring your scientific attitude. —O.M.)

(This is excellent for a beginner. But remember — all these divine illuminations are mere Breaks. —O.M.)

(It's a good sign, as a rule. —O.M.)

(This isn't as bad as it sounds. Don't worry, so long as the Image is quite sure of itseef. —O.M.)

(This, by the way, would have been particularly helpful information, and if Fra. V.I.O. had had it at the time he might have done a good many more Astral journeys. This lack of confidence at first seems to hold back many Students who could otherwise travel on the Astral quite successfully. —Ed.)

(Sounds rather good. —0.M.)

(Seems very good. —O.M.)

(Yes: it does appear that more time ought to be given to the Work. But the Progress is not bad for all that. However, I don't quite like the complacent feeling. Nothing replaces hard work. Somebody I know (or don't know) does more actual grind than he ever did. 24 full dress Magick ceremonies in the first weeks of 1914, and about 2 hours every morning writing up the records. And in this please include 2 bad goes of influenza and bronchitis! — O.M.)

(I've been one of 5 big men in a tent 7'6x6 in a hurricane blizzard on a glacier. But you win. —O.M.)

(This is dreadful! You must not mistake "feeling good" for a mystic state. —O.M.)

(A bit better. —O.M.)

(The tides are due to the pull of the Sun and Moon. —O.M.)

(The other joy! —O.M.)

(Good. —O.M.)

(This sounds very good indeed. —O.M.)

S. and L. have become sufficiently interested to apply for Studentship, and W. has at last written and asked re Probationer-ship.

Have heard finally from Fra P.A. and answered his letter.

(Dangerous, though, for a beginner. Often means little more than the maudlin benevolence of one who has dined too well. Fill yourself with Love, and it will flow out of its own accord. —O.M.)

This was the point re Astral journeys, mentioned before.

(This gave Fra. V.I.O. fresh confidence, and we find records of experiments at once. —Ed.)

(This is very good indeed, as a start. It should be repeated with ever-increasing persistence. The time occupied tells me its faults more than the text. A good "rising" should take 1? to hours. — O.M.)

Drew, with wand, in front of me, a circle (three times round) and formed astral in that. Rose to a great height. Suddenly, as it were, a rope flashed round me and fell, forming a spiral, ever widening, at the top of which I sat. Stood up on this, only to fall, down, down, down, not quite vertically into the water. Rising again, and striking out, I after a short while perceived a boat, something like a gondola, and swam towards it. It was rowed by a dark-skinned man, old and wrinkled, whom I at first thought to be an Indian. As I reached the boat and put my hand on the side, it seemed as if he would strike at me with his oar, but no, he grinned, and I drew myself into the boat and sat in the fore part, which was high and covered by a sort of hood. Presently, it struck me that the man was not living but dead. Death. We then drifted in a mist, and all became blank for a while; the memory of boat, man and self, were all but lost. When the mist cleared I realized that the man was no longer there, and I myself guided the boat. Coming back out of the mist the waters were blue and no longer black, and I realized that day was breaking. Gradually I watched the Sunrise, and set the boat in that direction, rowing so as to keep my face to the Sun. It seemed like a Portal; but, keeping on, it presently rose, and by the time it was getting high in the heavens I perceived a fair City ahead. Domes, Minarets, etc. Arriving there, I for the first time noticed I was dark skinned and clad in a loincloth. Landing, I was surrounded with men in an Eastern costume, Arabs or Turks I thought. One old man took me by the hand, I made the sign of the Pentagram over him, but he smiled and said "Come along, it's all right," and led me along a street paved with cobbles, the houses of which overhung, till we reached a sort of a mosque. Entering this he led me to the altar, which was supported by brackets from the wall, and above which was a beautiful stained window. At the sides were thin columns and sort of boxes, similar to theatre boxes. We knelt at the altar; and he took my hand and said: "Raise your consciousness." I perceived a star and crescent above me, and a cross dimly formulated in the background. After this, the astral seemed to coincide with the body; but consciousness of the astral surroundings was still clear. Continued to raise consciousness, and to send out thoughts of Love. Perceived around me innumerable streams of thought, interlacing and like a net-work, and when the Love-thought was sent out, the whole net sparkled, as with little specks of gold. Continued in this thought for some minutes, and gradually returned to normal. Gave thanks and entered diary.

(Very nearly in serious trouble, my young and rash friend! It seems that you must go up well outside earth-attraction if you wish to get good astrals. It sounds Sunday-school-talk, and I can give no reason. But I've tried repeatedly going horizontally and downwards, always with the same result. Gross and hostile things are below, pure beings above. The vision is good enough for what it is; it is clear and coherent. But I see no trace of scientific method in directing the vision. I explain further in the general comment. —0.M.)

(R. must be told not to call you to come to bed. The feeling that she may possibly do so is enough to prevent concentration. Also, as a general rule, it's very bad to sleep with another person in the room. —O.M.)

10:45 P.M.

Oh Thou Ever-present, Eternal Silence, wherein all vanishes and emerges clothed in Bliss. I Invoke Thee.
Oh Thou elusive Self of my self, Thou All, wherein all dissolves and becomes Thy Being. I invoke Thee.
Oh Thou Existence of Existences, Thou Knower of Knowledge, wherein knowledge of all else is lost. I Invoke Thee.
Oh Thou Bliss Absolute, Thou One without a second, Thou in Whom Time and Space no longer exist. I invoke Thee.
Oh Thou, who when I think of Thee art God, who when I cease to think of Thee art My self, may I be lost in THEE.
Yet never shall I be lost, for Thou Art, who art not. Oh Beloved, I come to Thee when I realize that never have I moved through all Eternity.
Oh Thou, on Whom man looks through the senses, and sees as the world.
Oh Thou, on Whom man looks through the mind and sees as the world of thought.
Oh Thou on Whom man looks as Thyself and becomes Infinite Bliss, let there be no thought of separateness, for there is none other. Thou Art That.
If I call Thee a Point, Thou laughest, saying: "I am the Infinite Circle."
If I worship the Circle, Thou laughest, saying: "I am concealed in the Point."
Only if I claim Thee Wholly, may I define Thee. Then who cares, Aye or Nay?
If I attempt to name Thee, I lose Thee, Oh Thou Nameless unto Eternity. To Whom shall I reveal Thee, who wast never known but to Thyself?
Surely words are vain, O Thou who art beyond the Silence. Aum.

(This is very good. —O.M.)

"The Self is Love. That Self am I" first part of the time, afterwards changing to "The Self is THAT, that Self am I."

Eyes half closed, fixed on nose. Shut them about the middle of the meditation and turned them to Ajna. Very few invading thoughts.

Presently all became brilliant light, with which I became identified.

Realization of Oneness. No doubt remained that this was indeed the Union with the Higher Self. Then again arose the question "What about the Others when this state subsides again?" Then it seemed that a voice spoke clearly to the brain, saying: "Truly when united so thou art one with the Holy Guardian Angel that speaks unto thee now. Therefore worry no more about attaining. In future it is thy work to see that not only the part attain, but that other parts, those that are called 'others' in ordinary consciousness, realize the Oneness also." N. B. These are not the words, and do not properly express the meaning. The experience itself was in the nature of realization rather than in any language.

(Not at all bad. —O.M.)

(No good. —0.M.)

On first trying to project astral it went rapidly off in a N.E. direction (Bad. —O.M.) then described a curve to the North and so round twice, and became normal again. Second attempt.

Enclosed astral in egg of light, sent it straight up. Egg opened; and I opened eyes in space. I saw above me a shining object, oblong in shape, and travelling to it, found it almost like a kite. Leaning upon it, I was carried backwards for some distance, during which time I watched a changing landscape below. Wishing to descend, I dropped towards the Earth, and found body supported by another. When near the ground, skimmed over the earth and eventually came to a dark gateway or tunnel. Walked into this and proceeded, lighted by a silver star on brow, till I arrived at a circular room at the end, lit by one candle placed on a round table at which sat an old white-bearded man writing in a book. I approached him, and said: "Why writest thou, Father ?" and he replied "That those who read may live." (I seem to have asked him another question, but cannot remember what.) Then I said:

"What writest thou, Father?" And he replied: "Death, always Death," And I said: "Show me thy writing, Father" and looking he wrote the word HARTHA. And I said "This is a mystery to me" so he pointed to it letter by letter and I tried to interpret it Qabalistically, but was not successful. It seemed that the value of the letters was 507. He said I should understand, and with that I left him and returned.

(have reached. You should have got more of the book, too. —O.M.)

(This sounds good, as if the Tamo-Guna were breaking up. —O.M.)

(Humility, like Pride, implies a self. —O.M.)

(These things don't mean much, as a rule. They are only what we call "reverie," a dulcet meandering of the mind. —0.M.)

(Not very good; seems too much like thinking. —0.M.)